How are you supposed to be fearless around something everyone else fears? I found myself asking this question for many months, and there was no obvious answer.
When I was 18 My family and I were going to head to Florida in late July. On that trip I decided I wanted to do what most don't, shark dive! The beginning of June hit, and I was excited and pumped up for the experience of shark diving, I mean imagine how rare of an opportunity this is I was telling myself. Friends would always say "Cam what if you get eaten." or "what if something goes wrong." at that point I didn't care and would respond with "eh who cares." Later on that month I turned on Netflix and watched Shark Week, and the guy known as "shark man" was consistently saying "why would I fear this, Its what I live for and what I've prepared for." Every question interviewers would ask him along the lines of being scared that's how he answered, and I just chuckled because I just thought he was being really rude. As I kept watching Shark man really didn't look all that nervous, and I felt the same way at that point. Fast forward To the very end of June, I started to feel a little worried, I don't know why, but I was and I did not like it. I called my grandma and asked for the exact date of the trip, she said "July 21-28" I was okay with that because it gave me a month to mentally prepare. I started a countdown until I had to be ready. Thirty all the way to one. Once I got down to day one it meant I had better be prepared because Its time to go.
Day thirty I watched more shark week trying to learn what I could about being in the water with sharks, but it just wasn't the same as actually being with them, mean I know a lot about sharks I have grown up loving them, but it just isn't the same as being in the water with one. I got frustrated and stopped thinking about the dive for the day. Day 20 was early July, and I could really feel the nerves hit, I mean what if the shark gets into the cage, what if the cage breaks? I couldn't stop thinking about the what ifs, and It drove me crazy I had to know how can I calm myself down, hell I'm 20 days away and I'm already freaking out! I Just found myself reading books from my massive collection of sharks and sea life books, but I once again nothing worked, I screamed what am I supposed to do, I really want to do this, but don't want to die! Day 15 I seemed to be a little bit calmer I didn't know why, but I was maybe it was my parents telling me everything was going to be fine(even though I knew my mother hated the idea) and I just needed to relax for a few days. Throughout the day I tried but couldn't and the stress and fear consumed me, I want to do it more than anything, but fear of dying was immense. Day 10 came, that's when I finished my cage diving training and safety lessons, which by the way I scored very high on, but once again I kept telling myself Its not the same without the shark in the water. The instructor just kept repeating keep your cool, and everything will be fine. I thought to myself easy for her to say she's not the one getting in the cage. Day 5 was here and nothing was working I just finally said screw it, I may back out nothing I can do, I don't want to be shark bait. I was amazed by the nervousness as the days grew closer I just could imagine having a twelve foot twelve thousand pound shark breathing down my neck, it was terrifying! Day 2 was here nothing much happened I said bye to friends before I went on vacation and made it seem like I may never return. Shockingly well, actually not they believed it, because I mean who really thinks being in a cage surround by sharks is actually safe? The final day was here until we left and I was just every where, from my parents, to my friends to my books and even some TV anywhere I could find hope that id be fine, and guess what, I found none.
Driving to Florida was the worst drive that I had ever been through. Seventeen hours of sitting in a seat freaking out sounds like a great time, no!. When we arrived I got ready for bed because the next day was diving day, and I just wanted to be fully rested. The next morning I woke up around 7 got ready and my father and I set out to the shore to find the boat that would take me out. We got there around 8 and the man with a straggly grey beard said "you ready son." "not really I'm actually kind of scared" I replied. The man looked at me with a disappointed expression and said "scared, why? have you not prepared yourself?" I quickly responded saying "I have I'm very prepared, I got high scores on the diving classes and I know as much as I possibly can about sharks." He laughed and said "then you're fine we fear what we don't know, and you seem to know quite a bit" Right then and there it hit me, that's what shark man meant when he kept telling people its what I've lived for and prepared for, he wasn't scared because there is no point in being afraid if you have given yourself every opportunity to succeed. I was ready for this moment all along. I know the risks and the rewards if I do it, but me worrying about it wont help anything. I put my diver suit on got into the cage. I will admit I was still a little shaky, but everything turned out great and I was clam, and took the appropriate steps to make it in and out safely. That moment turned out to be one of the greatest in my life And I will never forget it.
Fear can be controlled by being prepared, Just as an experienced drive may be less nervous than a new one, or how a adult biker isn't as afraid as a kid getting off his training wheels. Cage diving is no different if you are experienced and prepared you shouldn't be focused on the fear of the negative, because you are ready for it, and can make the appropriate steps to make sure things go right.
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